Reclaiming Resilience

Y'all … It’s been a lot. Too much of a lot. That’s the best way I can describe it for now.

In trying to shift through my feelings, I was brought back to a poem I wrote to conclude my M.F.A. Thesis and my thinking surrounding what it means to be resilient (or rather labeled as resilient). Thinking about the work I do, the work we do to make life better for ourselves and therefore others as well…. For now I’m working to reclaim the word, the sentiment the anchor. Maybe one day I’ll do away with it all together….

I am resilient.

Not because of my will

but because they have seen the past

because I have seen what is 

because you have closed your eyes and dreamt many dreams

because together we envision what will be

 I am resilient 

Not because I don’t feel pain 

but because of the hands I’ve gotten to feel along the way 

because of long hugs and comfortable shoulders

because I’m worthy of giving and receiving support 

because I can rest in the arms of uncertainty and lie within the peace of discovery

 I am resilient 

Not because words don’t hurt

but because I’ve learned to listen with my whole body 

because I feel vibrations pulsing at frequencies I’ve now leaned to recognize and interpret

because I’ve heard stories that traverse time

because I’ve heard a voice from within 

 I am Resilient

Not because I’ve tasted defeat

but because I’ve tasted joy 

because I’ve learned to fill myself before pouring into others

because I’m full of possibilities and ideas 

because I’ve established my seat at a table we chose and built together 

 I am Resilient

Not because I have to be

but because of the calming scent of rest 

because the candle of laughter burns just as bright as the candle of fear 

because I’ve learned both have a place

and with the extinguishing of flames comes the scent of a new path ahead.

 I am Resilient 

not because they want me to be 

because I delight in saying no… in saying pay me … in saying not today

because I choose life

because I know who I am

because my body has recognized its ability to flow … its ability to grow  … its ability to change … its ability to be and become